Things I would do if I woke up early.
I want to be successful in life but I like sleep too much. Did you know some people wake up at 5 AM? That’s when the owls are awake!
At 5 O’clock IN THE MORNING, babies haven’t yawned yet, bartenders in New York haven’t clocked out, & worst of all? Airports haven’t even removed the cages that lock up the Cinnabons overnight! 5 AM is too early. It’s the sinner’s hour, it is no time to be out and about doing anything civil. It’s time to be asleep. Unconscious. Horizontal. Free from emails.
The thing is, I’m really good at sleep. I’m actually one of the best ever, just ask my former roommate and best friend, (who would refer to me as only, ‘former roommate’) Corinne. It often caused tension between us because she’s so painfully jealous of my talents: napping, sleeping in, going to bed early; I do it all.
Please don’t fret Corinne, this gift is also my downfall. I will never become truly successful because sleep is my Achilles heel. What if I could wake up early? What would I do? Here are some possibilities.
Learn the violin. I’ve never tried but then again I’ve never given myself the time. I played the Cello briefly in 6th grade and the teacher said I hurt his ears. In his defense, I did choose an instrument the size of an 11-year-old me.
Read…actually that one would probably make me fall back asleep.
Workout…hahahahahahhahaha what if.
Yeah, running, at sunRISE? I’m more likely to hack Microsoft. Going from the most sedentary state a human body can reach to the absolute fastest within the hour? Sounds destructive.
Bring down Scientology. This probably wouldn’t happen but the chances aren’t 0 unless I try.
Sit with my own thoughts for more hours per day than I ever have bef - WHY DO PEOPLE* WAKE UP EARLY UNLESS THEY ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO?
*If you are an early riser, please PLEASE tell me how you do it. What are you taking? I won’t tell anyone, please tell me. I want to do so many more things each day but when my alarm goes off my brain thinks it’s part of my dream so I never get up until a few buzzes in, or in the rare event I do get up, I walk over to the alarm, turn it off, and return to bed, all without opening my eyes. I tried getting an alarm clock with wheels, but it was so annoying because I couldn’t easily go back to bed so I returned it.
Help.