Tik Tok influencers cosplaying as "unwell".

I have always appeared unwell despite my efforts to seem otherwise. I’ve cried openly and uncontrollably at more Walgreens’ than Elizabeth Holmes manipulated with her fake blood tests. I’m confident I’ve cried in more drug stores than exist in the entire state of Arizona. I once cried compulsively at my desk at my first job. Unable to move or stop, my tears bounced off the keyboard. I cried so much in high school my mom one time told me I needed to stop because ”3 days” was “too many” to cry without a break. My sister can’t believe I still have liquid left in my eye ducts.

That said, I don’t cry much anymore because my meds are too strong, but I still have love for the game. To quote criminal…ly bad actor and hamburger businessman Mark Wahlberg:

”I've always looked at my career as an athlete would look at his. I won't play forever. Some don't know when to walk away, but the smart ones do.”

Mark Wahlberg is still trying to act, but I am no longer compulsively crying. I knew when to walk away, as many of “the smart ones do".

I am bringing all of this up because I think a lot about the name of Alex Cooper (host of the podcast Call Her Daddy) brand name. Her podcast company is called Unwell. The Unwell Network produces the Hot Mess podcast with Alix Earle. An influencer is famous for posting “Get-ready-with-me” makeup videos from her dorm at the University of Miami. My cousin whose never met me, once asked if I hang out with Alix in Miami. I’ve heard she’s cool, but I never leave my house and do not own foundation, where in Matt Damon’s Miami would we have met?

I can’t know someone's inner life, I just find the commodification of not being well a little annoying. As someone who has never been well, I have done everything to try and hide it. My unwell isn’t hot and blonde; it’s bug-eyed and brunette.

In college, my drama teacher explained acting drunk to us. A good actor doesn’t flail around, slurring their words; they do everything not to appear drunk. That’s what real people do when they’re a mess but trying to hide it. I like seeing society continue to discuss mental health; I find the idea of heightening how unwell you are to be odd. Those who are really unwell don’t have the energy to market it. Again, I do not know their inner lives, they could be dealing with the same thing as me, I don’t know. I just find the concept of “Crying-In-Glam” to be…something.

What do I know? I’m just a retired crier and champion yapper.